


Said I'd let you keep it forever (I hardly knew a thing about you)

by lucasashtons, orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Drunk Dialing, Drunk Texting, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Past relationship mention, Walk Of Shame, is the official tag for this, it flips between two perspectives kind of like you can tell what both michael and calum are thinking, jealous!luke, sarah is emo, that abuse is VERY VERY minimal and only really mentioned directly once and thats towards the end, thats about it I think, thats only mentioned a few times though, the jesse thing is like idk i was just watching his snapchat story and he popped into my head, theyre not in a band just uni students, this was written on kik should be a tag, you can make up ur own jesse, you dont have to picture him to be jesse in the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 08:43:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4131397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucasashtons/pseuds/lucasashtons, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m Michael,” he says, offering a short wave. “And if you ask me, a walk of shame is not complete without heading to Starbucks and getting coffee. Would you like to join me?” </p><p>And who is Calum to say no to coffee with a handsome stranger?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Said I'd let you keep it forever (I hardly knew a thing about you)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends welcome. So [Emi](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lucasashtons) and I wrote this glorious thing over kik. Amazing. Anyways if you don't read the tags (which is reasonable because i hardly ever do) I want to point out that there is a major alcohol abuse trigger in this!! So please please be wary of that. Also a bit of past relationship emotional abuse, but is very minor and only confronted at the very end.
> 
> Happy reading!!

Ashton’s asleep beside him when he wakes up, arm lounging across his waist in a lazy hold. Calum didn’t usually mind waking up like this, with his best friend curled into him after a night of sex, but this particular morning felt off. Maybe it was that feeling of ‘I just slept with my best friend  _ again,  _ we need to stop doing this shit’, or maybe it was because he felt so guilty as to why they were doing it.

It started a few months back, when Calum was complaining about having not been laid since high school. Both of them had been pretty busy after starting university, and when they entered the real world it was just the two of them going at it alone. Nights of masturbation in the comfort of their bedrooms wasn’t nearly enough, neither were the porn DVDs stashed by the entertainment center. It eventually boiled down to the two of them deciding that they should get each other off, and Calum would be lying if he said it wasn’t nice in the beginning.

Now he just felt filthy.

Sliding out of the bed, Calum gathered up his clothes from the night before and quickly put them on, hoping to get some coffee before Ashton woke up. Their machine in their shared apartment was busted, so any chance of getting caffeine in his system was dependent on Starbucks.

Plus, he didn’t really feel like showering, despite how gross it felt to wear yesterday’s outfit.

He closes the apartment door with a gentle click, backing away slowly and taking gentle steps backwards, which really he didn’t need to do. It’s not like Ashton could hear his footsteps from outside of their apartment. He’s paranoid though, and considering the last time he left before Ashton woke ended up with the boy ignoring him for quite some time, he didn’t want a repeat of that. Ashton was terribly good at holding a grudge, and Calum liked being on his good side.

“You too mate?” he hears from beside him and he nearly jumps a foot in the air when he notices a boy standing there, laughing at him. “No need to be ashamed! Sex is sex, I’m not going to judge you.”

Calum blinks at the stranger, trying to decide what to say to him. The guy seems friendly enough, not the type to hurt Calum in anyway. His faded green hair gives off a type of vibe that Calum could only describe as amusing, and he wonders just how crazy this guy is to even have the guts to dye his hair such a color.

“I’m Michael,” he says, offering a short wave. “And if you ask me, a walk of shame is not complete without heading to Starbucks and getting coffee. Would you like to join me?”

And who is Calum to say no to coffee with a handsome stranger?

 

“How were they?” Michael asks him as they approach a Starbucks. “Whomever you just left, were they good?”

Calum ponders this, wondering what exactly he should say. He shouldn’t lie, Ashton had always been a decent lay, but he also wasn’t dating the boy. They were just best friends, had been since high school. It was casual, that’s it.

So he shrugs. “They were okay.”

“Yours?” Calum asks him in return, holding the warm cup between both of his hands watching Michael as he sat down at the table across from him.

Michael chuckles a bit and rubs the side of his neck. Blurry drunk visions of a blond haired boy flash in his mind. Did he have blue eyes? Michaels almost certain he did, too blue to be real. He supposes the nameless boy wasn’t horrible, but that's all he was. A nameless boy.

“Pretty good.” Michael takes a sip of his coffee and sees a bruise on Calum's neck in the general shape of lips and he probably has one identical to it, so he shouldn’t judge. At the same time he can’t help but stare. It’s rude, he knows, but it’s distracting at the same time.

“Well,” Calum says, draining his coffee cup before tossing it in the trash behind them. “It was nice meeting you, and getting coffee together.” He doesn’t know where to go from here, if he’s being honest. He’s used to casual hookups, not dating, and if his gut was telling him anything, it was that this boy wasn’t going to be a casual hookup.

Michael nods. “It really was.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket, holding it out for Calum. “Put your number in, I’d really like to keep talking to you if that’s okay.”

And yeah, that’s perfectly okay. Calum takes the phone and logs his number in before smirking at the gorgeous boy. “Hopefully next time we meet we are not coming off of a night of sex.”

Michael just shrugs. “I wouldn’t mind a night of sex if it's with you. Calum can’t stop himself from blushing.

Michael watches as a blush spreads on Calum's cheeks and he can’t help but smile. He doesn’t really know what it is about Calum, but there’s something there, something drawing him in. He doesn’t intend on fighting it. Not like usual, that is.

“See you, then?” Michael asks, unsure of whether he should leave first or not. Calum nods with a faint smile on his lips. They end up standing up at the same time making them both chuckle quietly and Michael follows Calum out of Starbucks.

Michael knows that the worst possible thing would be if they walked the same way, that would be undeniably awkward. He practically sighs in relief when Calum crosses the street and walks through a park. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he digs it out, unlocking it to read the message.

 

** Calum 7:46am: **

** I wouldn’t mind it either. x **

 

Michael can’t help but smile at that and he slips his phone back into his pocket feeling like he’s in high school all over again with all the giddy emotions running through him. He doesn’t mind that either.

 

⃟⃟⃟

 

“He hasn’t texted me yet,” Calum grumbles, phone in his hand as he stares at the screen. “Ashton he should have texted me by now, right?”

The curly haired boy pauses his game, turning to look at Calum with a look of annoyance. “Look, this guy seemed to really like you when you met, and him not texting you isn’t going to change that.”

Calum bites his lip. Michael would have texted him, he would have. Michael wouldn’t leave him hanging like this. Then again, what did Calum know of this boy anyway? They met after the two of them fucked other people, honestly the odds of staying together we’re pretty slim.

“You know,” Ashton says, eyes focused on his video game as he speaks. “If you really need to have sex, I’m here. It’s not like I have anyone else right now, since Luke won’t spare me a glance.”

Luke. The entire reason they started their friends with benefits thing was because of that boy. 

Ashton knew he didn’t stand a chance with the gorgeous blond from his Music class, and Calum offered his services.

But Calum didn’t want to sleep with Ashton because Michael wasn’t texting him back. He wants to sleep with Michael, date Michael, kiss the hell out of Michael.

He just wants Michael.

Michael is drunk again. Okay maybe that was an understatement, he is smashed and he has class the next morning. At this point he didn’t really care though, he loves this feeling. It would probably be a lot more fun if he was at a club or something instead of stuck in his stuffy apartment, but being drunk was being drunk, and well.

He lets out a loud belch and hears a sound of disapproval come from another room sounding a lot like his roommate. Of course it’s his roommate, who opted to never drink on weekdays or let Michael kiss him when he was drunk. Jesse was a complete and total fun sucker. Sucker. A blowjob would be nice, now if he could only remember if he got that blond’s number.

Michael grabs his phone from off the kitchen counter and unlocks it, messages already seeming to be open. He squints trying to read what the message says and who it was from.

“Calum?” Michael says to himself, the vowels being drug out. “Oh the Starbucks guy.” He giggles to himself and walks to Jesse's room plopping down on his bed. Jesse doesn’t like that.

“What Michael? I’m trying to do my presentation for class tomorrow.” Jesse all but snaps and Michael mimics him like a little kid before saying what he wants to.

“Did I ever tell you about that hot kid at Starbucks? I met him after I fucked some guy. He did the same. He was pretty,” Michael trails off at the end of his sentence looking at his phone again, kind of disappointed he doesn’t have a picture of the boy.

“Yes you told me about him, like, I don’t know, at least twelve times.” Jesse isn’t so mean this time around and Michael smiles fondly thinking about Calum. “What about him?”

“He’s just really pretty I wanna talk to him I think. His name is Calum. Isn’t that such a pretty name?” Michael blinks slowly and Jesse takes Michael's phone from him without much struggle and presses call on Calum's contact.

“Michael talk to him, look, you’re calling him,” Jesse hands Michael back his phone who is frowning because he doesn’t entirely remember calling him. “Now get out.”

The last thing Calum expects was for Michael to call him. Sure, a text would have sufficed, but a phone call he could hear Michael’s voice, and he wouldn’t trade that for anything.

That’s before he hears Michael speak.

“Are-are you drunk?” He asks, a mix of a laugh and a scoff coming from his mouth.

“Yeah?” Michael says. “Yeah, yeah!” He giggles, and Calum swears it is one of the most adorable sounds in the world.

“It’s not wise to call someone when you’re drunk, you know,” Calum tells him, running a hand through his hair. “You could say things you’ll regret.”

Michael giggles again. “Like what? I have nothing to hide gorgeous!” A belch. “I need sex.”

Calum stops. He isn’t sure what he is feeling at this moment. A part of him is totally up for sex, another part a little sad because it sounded as if that was all Michael wants.

He wants Michael as a date, not casual. It was too soon to decide that, of course, but Calum has a feeling.

“Mikey, get some rest. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

A sigh. “Okaaaaaaaaay. Goodnight!” A click on the other end signals the call ended, and Calum groans as he flops down on the couch.

Ashton is quick to say something. “Booty call?”

Calum shrugs. “Am I not good enough for a relationship?”

 

A pair of arms wrap around him as Ashton hugs him tightly, kissing his forehead. “Welcome to the club,” he replies sadly.

Michael wakes up the next morning down to just his boxers in his bed with the World’s Worst headache and his phone in his hand. He’s not sure how either of these things happened but he looks at his phone anyways, squinting against the bright screen and sighs when he sees his class will be over in ten minutes. He doesn’t really know how he hasn’t been kicked out, but it’s got to be coming soon. But right now he’s hungover as shit and he doesn’t want to think about college.

He sets down his phone on his nightstand, deciding against listening to music in the shower as he usually does. The sound of the water echoing against the floor should be enough to agitate his headache further.

When Michael gets out of the shower his head still hurts, but he doesn’t feel as grimy so it’s alright, he supposes. He notices Jesse’s back for lunch break in between his classes and he almost wants to smack him upside the head for not waking him up. But Michael decides against it because knowing himself he wouldn’t have gotten up anyways.

“Morning, sleeping asshole,” Jesse greets him as he walks into their small kitchen, clad in pajama pants and socks and that’s it, with his phone in hand.

“Well aren’t you just a ball of sunshine.” Michael rolls his eyes and he knows it’s all fun. Jesse’s a good guy, real nice to him. Always has been, and always will be.

“Well, I had to babysit last night even though I had class this morning. I think I have a right to be bitter.”

Michael shrugs and sits on a stool across the counter from Jesse, who’s eating and it makes Michael’s stomach growl. He didn’t realize he was hungry, or that he hadn’t eaten since before we went out and drank until he saw the food in Jesse’s hands.

“Do we have cereal?” He asks and Jesse nods, mouth full of a sandwich.

“Surprised you’re not hooked to your phone.”

Michael frowns and turns to him. “Why would I be?’”

“You’re horny when you’re drunk, and you thought a special someone was quite pretty. You may have called them asking for sex.” Jesse shrugs and Michael stares at him, looking horrified.

“It wasn’t-”

“It was.” Jesse winks at him and Michael makes a pathetic sound forgetting all about his cereal.

Michael puts down the box and grabs his phone off the counter opening his recent calls. Surely enough Calum’s name is there. He opens his messages next to find a message from Calum. 

Different from the last one he got after their impromptu Starbucks.

 

** Calum 2:36am: **

** Sleep well. x **

 

And in the message bar?

 

** Unsent message: **

** thdnaks hotrie **

 

Michael buries his face in his hands and groans. At least he didn’t send the message. It could’ve been worse, but it was still bad.

 

⃟⃟⃟

 

Calum wakes up in Ashton’s arms, phone in his grasp. It wasn’t the first time he’s woken up like this, though usually they are without clothing and Calum feels like shit. He moves Ashton’s arms off of him and heads towards their kitchen, beginning breakfast and staring at his phone.

He wonders if he should text Michael, ask how he is doing. The boy probably had a terrible hangover, and while Calum isn’t sure if he is allowed to, he wants to see the boy and make sure he’s okay.

 

** Michael 12:33pm: **

** Hope you are feeling better today. x **

 

He doesn’t know why he keeps adding a kiss to every text, considering he’s barely known the boy two days. While he likes the thought of Michael taking him out, maybe Michael didn’t want that. Maybe he was still with that guy he slept with the other night.

The thought hurt.

Michael doesn’t text him back until a few hours later, when Calum’s back from class and in his room, looking over notes.

 

** Michael 5:23pm: **

** Feel like shit, but thank you. Wanna get some dinner? **

 

Calum grins big at the message .

 

** To: Michael, 5:25pm: **

** That sounds perfect :-) Pizza? x **

 

Michael isn’t expecting Calum to reply so soon, but he did and Michael smiles bigger than he probably should, despite his lasting headache.

 

** To: Calum, 5:26pm: **

** Meet me at Starbucks. See you in an hour :-) **

 

Michael hits send before he can register that that was an embarrassingly fast reply, but there’s no time to waste he has to get dressed and try not to think about what he might’ve said on the phone to Calum.

He ends up texting Calum the entire time he’s walking to Starbucks to meet up with Calum, which may be a bit silly because they are about to see each other, but he finds that he can’t really stop.

It’s all pretty mindless conversation, about things they could talk about over pizza so he doesn’t exactly know what he’s going to end up talking about. Texting seems to be his biggest vice.

Michael gets to Starbucks before Calum does, but he’s a bit early so he doesn’t mind. He’ll get them both coffees and just hope that Calum’s doesn’t go cold while he waits.

It doesn’t, thankfully because a few minutes after the barista gives him the two drinks Calum walks into the shop, the bell jingling above his head and Michael doesn’t know why but he can’t not smile.

“Here.” Michael hands Calum’s coffee to him getting a thank you back and once again follows him outside. This time they go the same way and it’s not awkward. Michael’s glad.

“So.” Michael starts, wanting to know what he said on the phone and hoping Jesse was lying.

Calum raises his eyebrows in a questioning look. “So?”

He shakes his head and sips his coffee. “I guess I, uh, called you last night and I don’t exactly remember what I said? So, I’m sorry if I said anything rude or whatever..” He chuckles quietly and trails off taking another drink.

Calum blushes red, and Michael loves that, loves the color on Calum’s cheeks. He looks adorable. “Well, you were horny and drunk.”

Michael blushes now, and he chuckles nervously. “God, I am so sorry, you probably think I’m weird now.”

And that’s the weird part: Calum should think he is weird. After all, he called the boy up and asked for sex apparently. Surely that’s a good enough reason to be called weird.

Yet Calum is still here, still wants to be around him. Maybe he thought it was endearing. “A little, but I already thought that from your hair,” he ruffles the faded green hair that Michael was currently sporting and giggles, honest to god giggles. It’s beautiful.

They arrive at the pizza joint a few minutes later, ordering a large pizza before, settling with their sodas, coffee cups tossed away in the garbage.

“So,” Michael says, twirling the straw with his fingers. “What is this exactly?”

Calum raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Michael uses his free hand and gestures in front of him. “I don’t know..  _ This _ .’ Michael internally sighs, he’s so bad with words. He hopes Calum catches on to what he’s trying to say but up to this point it’s looking doubtful. Calum’s eyebrows are knit together in this adorable frown and he’s shaking his head a little bit like,  _ no, what do you mean? _ So, Michael really does sigh out loud this time.

“Like.. Are we getting to know each other? Is this just going to be a hook up and then never talk again?” Michael asks quietly, he feels like he’s putting all his cards on the table, but at the same time he’s not sharing much aside from the tone of his voice.

“What do you want it to be?” Calum asks, non accusing, nonjudgmental. Michael looks up to meet a pair of curious eyes and he doesn’t want this to be just a hook up. He’d like to know what’s going on in Calum’s mind, what he’s thinking all the time and what his least favorite snack is, because Michael’s a bit weird and likes to know those things. He shrugs and chews on his lip a little.

“I don’t know, I guess? Would it, would it be cool if it was, like, an almost date?” Michael swallows and he knows he sounds like an idiot. What even is an almost date?

“I wouldn’t mind that.” He hears Calum say and he lifts his eyes once more to see Calum smiling at the phrase he used. He thinks he’s clever. Michael’s not going to tell him he’s not.

“I wouldn’t either.” Michael smiles right back at Calum and he thinks that this almost date is going better than any other date he’s had ever.

 

⃟⃟⃟

 

“An almost date?” Ashton laughs when Calum has come back to the apartment, a permanent smile on his face as he remembers the night. “Is that even a thing?”

Calum doesn’t care if it’s a thing or not, honestly. It could be a thing between him and Michael, a first for the two of them. Hell, Michael didn’t even kiss him when they walked back together, holding hands shyly as they did. All he got was a peck on the cheek and a text a few minutes afterwards saying  _ 'sleep well cutie x’ _

“It’s a Michael thing,” Calum grins, shrugging off his jacket before handing his leftover pizza to Ashton. “I really like this guy Ash, I want to see more of him.”

Ashton grins at him, shoving a slice of cold pizza into his mouth. “I’m glad, you need someone like him.” He looks sad, despite his smile a few moments before, and now Calum feels bad about raving about his 'almost date’ because Ashton will never have that with someone. Or not at least the someone he wants.

“Today was your class with Luke!” Calum reminds him. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

Ashton shrugs. “He’s hung up on some one night stand, I think. Won’t stop talking about how he had sex with a guy that had a piercing and tattoos.

Calum feels bad, he really does. He wants to stay and comfort his friend when he gets a text from Michael.

 

** Michael 10:43pm: **

** Almost forgot, how do you feel about another 'almost date’ tomorrow? **

 

Calum glances at his heartbroken friend before replying.

 

** To: Michael 10:44pm: **

** Sounds perfect x **

 

He’s sure Ashton will figure out this mess he’s in on his own. Right now, Calum just wants to fall asleep and dream of his boy.

Jesse’s not home when Michael gets there, but it’s Friday so that makes sense. Usually, Michael would be out too, but he’s not about to risk drunk calling Calum again. He’s going to take it slow and steady if that means he gets to see Calum more.

Michael sits down on the couch in the dark living room and turns on the TV, mindlessly flipping through channels until he finds something remotely interesting. He’s not really paying attention though, he’s thinking too much about how Calum’s hand fit so well in his own. And how he made a last minute decision to kiss the boy on the cheek like he was in elementary. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought of it, though.

So, Michael texts Calum and asks him if he wants to go on another almost date, and he grins when Calum says yes and chuckles again at the kiss at the end of the text. It’s cute. Michael would like to kiss him, probably.

He doesn’t have class tomorrow, but he still goes to bed early. His big bed doesn’t feel so big when his heart is full of this mushy gushy stuff he feels towards Calum, and he likes it a lot.

The next morning Michael wakes up to the sound of Jesse spewing his guts and he covers his head with his pillow, groaning. Disgusting. Now Jesse isn’t one for hook ups, but when Michael walks into the kitchen, trying to avoid the noises coming from the bathroom, he nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees Jesse making eggs.

“ Wait.  _ Wha _ t?” Is all Michael can manage and Jesse gives him a questioning look. “Who’s in the bathroom?”

“Think her name is Rachel,” Jesse shrugs and Michael rolls his eyes. “Hangover food?”

“Didn’t drink.” Michael says as he grabs a glass and fills it with orange juice. “And it’s like 8am why are you awake?”

“Oh you didn’t? And why do you think? Mrs. Barfs-A-Lot woke me up, I’m guessing the same for you.”

Michael sighs and puts his empty glass in the sink. “I just hopes she gets out soon I was planning to go get Calum this morning for breakfast.”

Jesse smirks. “Really? Surprised you are actually keeping this guy around. Since when does Michael Clifford date?”

And that’s the thing: Michael doesn’t date, at least not until he met Calum. He was cool with casual hook ups and meaningless sex. Then suddenly he’s texting cute things to Calum and getting all mushy.

He likes it, likes how Calum makes him feel.

He leaves Jesse to his hook up, leaving the apartment and heading to Calum’s. He’s in the mood for pancakes, and luckily an iHop is only a few blocks away.

He least expects it when the door opens and out comes a curly haired boy.

“Hi,” the boy greets him, closing the door behind him and adjusting his books. “Michael, right?”

Michael nods. “Yeah, um, is Calum in there?”

The boy nods. “Yeah, I think he’s in the shower. Tell him that I left for class.” He gives Michael a quick grin. “I’m Ashton, by the way. Calum’s best friend.” He offers a small wave before walking off, leaving Michael alone in the apartment and waiting for Calum to get out of the shower.

Michael doesn’t really know what to do with himself. He doesn’t know if he should sit or stand, if he should stay by the door or wander. He feels a bit awkward and out of his element standing there alone.

“Ash? Are you still here?” He hears Calum call from where he suspects the bathroom is and he perks up a bit, straightening his posture since he chose to stand. Before he can reply Calum’s walking into the living room with nothing but a towel hanging dangerously low off his hips.

Michael’s eyes go wide and Calum almost screams and he jumps back. Michael spins around, facing away, and he doesn’t really know why because he wants to see Calum naked but he wants to respect him first.

“I- uh, he told me to tell you he left for class already.” Michael stutters out and gulps. He can feel his cheeks heating up and this is a bit absurd, everything with Calum feels like he’s new at it all again. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

“Oh. Um, okay. Sorry for being under dressed let me, uh, just go get dressed really fast,” Calum speaks too fast and Michael hears Calum’s bare feet slap on the uncarpeted floor, running away.

When Michael turns back around he exhales a deep breath and shoves his hands in his pockets waiting for Calum to return. It’s not much later when the boy comes back and is fully clothed this time, his hair still a bit damp.

“Sorry 'bout that. Didn’t know you were here.” Calum blushes a little and Michael shakes his head dismissively.

“No biggie, my fault I didn’t tell you I was coming.” He shrugs and shifts on his feet. Please don’t let this be awkward.

“Why are you here?” Calum asks and when Michael looks up he’s frowning. “No wait, that sounded bad. I don’t mind that you’re here I just wasn’t expecting you. But you are here, and that’s really cool. I just don’t know why you are?’”

“Calum you’re rambling.” Michael says fondly and if it was a normal day and he wasn’t talking to Calum he probably would’ve rolled his eyes at himself. “In the mood for iHop?”

 

⃟⃟⃟

 

They get a booth towards the back, a bit more secluded than the rest of the place. Michael learns that Calum really likes chocolate chip pancakes with homemade syrup dripping down the sides, while Calum learns Michael likes a simple omelet.

Michael learns that Calum’s roommate was the one he slept with that night.

“That wasn’t our first time either,” Calum admits, though he sounds ashamed as he does so. “We were two guys that wanted sex and were not sure how to find it. Now I could care less if I got laid.”

Michael raises a curious eyebrow at that. “Really? Well that just threw a wrench in tonight’s plans!” He’s joking, but he loves the way Calum blushes furiously at the thought of sex. Taking a risk, he reaches forward and intertwined their fingers.

It feels right. The way their finger slot together is as if they were meant for each other, no one else. Michael would call this the perfect moment.

That was before blondie from the other night came into the restaurant. Michael squeaks, hiding his head while Calum laughs.

“What’s got you?” He asks, chuckling.

Michael pulls his hand away from Calum and swallows hard. Drunken visions of that boy across the diner from him. Soft hips and plump lips and a damn lip ring cool against his skin. He shudders, but it’s not in disgust.

“Michael? What is it?” He hears Calum ask again and when Michael doesn’t tear his eyes from the tall blond Calum follows his gaze. “Oh you know him?”

“Do you?” Michael asks back, torn from his foggy memory.

“Yeah, that’s Luke. Ashton’s like in love with him.” Calum shrugs and takes a bite of his pancakes.

“Oh.” Is all Michael can manage and he doesn’t even have time before Calum is up calling the boy apparently named Luke over to their booth in the back corner.

“Hey! Luke!” Calum calls with gleaming eyes and Michael feels embarrassed. He doesn’t even know the kid other than he was someone he fucked while drunk. Hardly remembers anything else.

Luke looks over when he heard Calum’s voice a smile on his face, but it falters when he sees Michael. He frowns, obviously confused, but he still walks over towards them. Quite frankly Michael wish he could disappear before Luke could make his way over here. It would be his luck that Calum knows him.

“H-hey Cal!” Luke says, looking uneasy as he approaches the table. “Um, what are you doing here?”

Calum doesn’t seem to notice the change of atmosphere, and Michael is kind of grateful for that. “I’m here on a date, what are you doing here??

Michael wants to sink into the floor, really he wishes he could just vanish. This moment feels so awkward, with his one night stand talking to his maybe, hopefully boyfriend. Honestly he wishes he could disappear.

“Mike, you okay you look sick,” Calum comments, reaching over and placing a hand a top of Michael’s. Michael watches the light in Luke’s eyes dim, the hypnotizing blue dulling to a dark color. Now he feels even more sick.

“Calum I have to go,” he blurts, and he feels awful, so awful. “It was um, nice meeting you Luke.”

He darts out of there before there could be more questions.

Michael looks back, and he regrets it. He sees Calum’s hurt and confused face, and he sees Luke’s looking almost the same. But he doesn’t care about Luke, and that’s why he left. He cares too much about Calum already and now Calum probably thinks he hates him.

He practically runs back to his apartment, narrowly avoiding getting ran over at least twice. He needs a drink. Or several.

Michael barges into his apartment the door swinging wide, just to find it empty. Good, he doesn’t need Jesse’s snide comments right now. He throws open the fridge door and pulls out several beers and a half empty bottle of vodka. It will have to do.

He downs the beers in record time and the vodka in even less. It burns but he doesn’t care. He decides he doesn’t care about anything anymore. His phone vibrates in his pocket but he ignores it. Not drunk enough, probably never will be.

Hours later he’s laying on the bathroom floor, feeling like he’s dying more than anything else. He could die, he thinks, and he’d be better off than being trapped in a room with Calum, someone he is catching feelings for way too quickly, and Luke, a one night stand meant to never be seen again. But that’s just Michael’s life.

His phone buzzes for what seems like the billionth time and this time he fishes it from his pocket with a bit of struggle, his hands are clumsy, and answers it before looking at who it is.

“Yeah?” Michael slurs and smacks his lips. Why does beer taste like absolute shit? Why does he continue to drink it?

“Michael.”

It’s Calum, of fucking course it’s Calum. He doesn’t know why he expected someone else, and now he has alcohol swimming through his veins and. Well.

“I’m sorry,” he sobs. “I’m sorry I ran out on breakfast, I’m so, so sorry. It’s not you, of course not! You are perfect Cal so so perfect…”

“Michael are you drunk?”

Michael sniffs. “Yeah, I am. Fuck I’m so sorry.” He doesn’t know why he keeps apologizing, he just feels so, so sorry for what he did. “I’m a dumbass, so dumb.”

“You are not dumb Michael,” Calum promises, and his voice is soft and caring, all the things Michael doesn’t deserve. He doesn’t deserve this boy. “I’m coming over, okay? Please tell me you are at the apartment.”

Michael takes another swig of beer. “Bathroom,” he moans, head resting by the toilet. He thinks he hears Calum say he’s on his way but it’s all too hazy to remember.

Michael doesn’t know how long he sits there, his head leaned up against the wall, a warm beer in one hand and his phone in the other. It could’ve been days or seconds and Michael wouldn’t have known the difference. There’s a knock, pulling him from his half dream state and he reaches up trying to open the door he doesn’t remember closing in the first place, he gives up after a few seconds though. His hands won’t cooperate with the rest of him, other than bringing the beer bottle up to his lips and forcing himself to drink more.

“Michael? I’m coming in, okay?” Michael heard Calum’s voice and he frowns looking at his phone.

“That’s silly, you’re in my phone, you can’t come in here,” Michael hiccups and giggles a little to himself, then frowns again. “Wow I wish you were here. That would be nice. I’m such an idiot.”

The door pushes open slowly and Michael looks up to see Calum’s face and he instantly smiles. Wow Calum’s so pretty.

“Hey, how’d you get out of my phone?” Michael belches and his stomach lurched a little, almost making him vomit.

“I’m magic,” Calum whispers and sits down next to Michael after closing the door. Michael nods in agreement, Calum definitely is magic.

“I’m real sorry, Cal. I left breakfast and you hate me.” Michael sniffles pulling his arm up to his eyes, hiding his face. “I got scared because you’re so great and I wasn’t supposed to ever see that Luke kid again. I’m sorry.” Michael all but sobs and slumps into Calum's shoulder.

“Drink this, it’s good.” Calum hands Michael a water bottle and Michael grabs it, taking a swig nodding. It is good.

“I fucked up didn’t I?” Michael asks a few moments later with his eyes closed. “I did, you don’t have to tell me. I’m no good for you.” He sighs softly, saying it like it's fact.

Calum’s heart aches for this boy. Here he is, pouring his heart out for him when they’ve barely known each other. Seeing Michael this vulnerable, this raw was so different than the confident boy he’d grown to fall for.

“Luke was the boy you slept with that night.” Calum concludes, and off of Michael’s nod, Calum laughs.

“Why are you laughing?” Michael groans, shoving Calum lightly. “I’m really upset about this and you are laughing at my pain.”

Calum just continues to laugh, rubbing Michael’s shoulder. 'I’m laughing because of the odds, not at you. I don’t care if you slept with Luke, I care that you actually care that you hurt me.’

Michael looks up, tears still sparkling in his green eyes and Calum cups his jaw, thumb brushing at the falling tears. “Was I hurt when you ran out? Yeah, I really was. I really like you and I thought you were deciding you didn’t care about me as much as I cared about you.”

Michael blinks. “You care about me?”

No hesitation. “Yeah, Mikey I do.”

Michael wants to blame the alcohol for making him flushed and warm. He just smiles and stares at Calum like there’s nothing else in the world (there isn’t, not to him at least) and sniffles a bit.

“I do too. I think that’s what this is. A weird feeling in my chest when I see you.” Michael slurs and takes Calum’s hand, slotting their fingers together. It’s nice, they fit. “I don’t wanna fuck this up, Calum.”

Calum rubs circles on The back of Michael’s hand trying to soothe him. He shakes his head before resting it on Michaels. “You won’t.”

“It’s what I do best.” Michael says and shrugs.

These words sound sober, but Calum knows they’re not. He knows that Michael is drunk and it’s hardly 3 in the afternoon. But he also knows that what Michael is saying, Michael believes they’re true things about himself. It makes Calum's heart hurt, sink a little bit.

“I don’t want anymore casual fucks. Is that okay?” Michael asks out of the blue, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted like he’s about to fall asleep.

“Yeah that’s okay Mikey. I think that’s really okay.” Calum smiles because he knows what Michael meant, and it means a lot to him despite the fact that the boy was drunk on his lap.

“My butt hurts.” Michael whines. “Not in the sex way so don’t even think about that. Wanna save that and make it special,” he adds and Calum smiles and blushes all at the same time. He decides that he won’t tell Michael what he said if he doesn’t remember. This is definitely something he wants to keep to himself.

“Lets get you to bed, alright?” Calum suggests and Michael opens his eyes halfway looking up at Calum with tired bloodshot eyes.

“Are you trying to get me to sleep with you, Calum Hood?” He smirks and Calum laughs and shakes his head.

“Not today Michael, maybe some other time.” He whispers and leans down pressing a kiss to Michael's forehead.

“Nice.” Is all Michael says and with the help of Calum he stands up, wobbly and a bit nauseous. He lets Calum lead him to his room, arm slung over his shoulder for balance.

Michael’s room is a mess, but honestly Calum wasn’t expecting it to be neat and clean. That just wasn’t Michael. Michael was messy, all over the place and all out the most interesting person Calum had encountered in his life.

His room was covered in band posters and clothes scattered everywhere, a few beer bottles around. Calum had to admit that worried him, if drinking was something Michael did a lot.

He settles Michael into his bed, covers pulled over him before the drunk boy grabs his wrist, gently.

“Stay?” He asks sleepily, a look of peace on his face. ”We don’t have to do anything, I just want you to stay.”

Calum would be lying if he said he didn’t want to stay as well. So he allows himself to climb under the covers with Michael, let’s the boy attach to him almost like a koala and bury his face into Calum’s neck.

“You smell good,” Michael mumbles into his skin. “Like a summer day, but with less sunblock.” Michael takes another deep inhale and Calum giggles. “Pretty.”

“You’re pretty too,” Calum informs the boy, pulling him closer. “Pretty hair, gorgeous eyes,” he allows his thumb to trace over Michael’s bottom lip. “Enticing lips.” It likes the world is frozen around them at that moment, and Calum knows he’s either over stepped his boundaries or completely hit the mark.

“I like your nose,” Michael giggles before tapping the tip of it with his finger. He lets out a loud yawn before wrapping himself around Calum again. “Cute, cute nose for a cute, cute Calum.”

They fall asleep together like that, Michael muttering drunken nonsense and Calum running his hands through the boy’s light green hair. It’s that moment that Calum decides that he really is falling for this boy.

He just hopes Michael will catch him.

 

⃟⃟⃟

 

It’s dark when Calum wakes up, and the stench of beer in his face is almost overwhelming, almost makes him gag. His eyes open to see Michael, lips parted, a little drool running down the side of his mouth, sleeping still. He smiles, wishing he could take a picture of this moment. He doesn’t want to move and wake him up, but he’s sweating terribly and he needs to pee. Maybe falling asleep in jeans wasn’t his best idea, but he’s not about to take it back.

Slowly he peels Michael’s arms from around him, and Michael does this cute whine when he doesn’t have his arms wrapped around anything, so Calum tucks a pillow between his arms and Michael grips onto it for life and buries his face into the top of it, whining a bit more. He climbs out of bed slowly and it feels like he’s sneaking away again. It makes him feel gross for a moment, because he’d never slip away from Michael. Never do the walk of shame after Michael.

He looks at the boy sleeping in the bed and he reaches down rubbing his thumb along Michael's jaw. Calum isn’t about to leave, not when Michael looks so peaceful it takes his breath away.

He leaves Michael’s room, closing the door quietly behind him and when he turns he’s met with a pair of brown eyes, almost black like his. He almost screams and jumps out of his skin. He’s been scared far too many times today.

“Are you leaving him?” The guy asks, eyebrow quirked. Calum guesses this is his roommate.

“No, just going to the bathroom, “ he says hesitantly, he’s not going to lie, he’s intimidated by the all the tattoos.

“Bullshit,” he says crossing his arms and blocking Calum’s way. Calums bladder is about to explode. “I know who you are, and I know how Michael feels about you. He’s an idiot and you’re an idiot. Swear to God if you break that kid’s heart.”

Calum immediately shakes his head. He didn’t think he’d be the one to break Michael’s heart, but the other way around. He has no intentions to leave Michael anytime soon.

“Listen, man, I just seriously need to pee. So unless you’re keen on me pissing on you, cause you’re into that sort of thing, I suggest letting me pass,’ Calum spits and he’s allowed to pass finally. He adds, “He’s not an idiot, either.”

When Michael wakes up, he’s confused as to why he’s clutching a pillow. Last he remembers was being upset about something, leaving and -

Calum.

He shoots up then, probably a bad idea considering his head is pounding. Regardless, he’s getting up from his bed and wiping the drool of his chin, heading out into the hallway before running into Calum, who is zipping up his jeans.

“You’re awake!” He says, a soft smile on his face as he puts his hands on Michael’s shoulders. “How does your head feel? I tried asking your roommate if you had any Advil, but he’s kind of a dick.”

Michael laughs, and instead of saying anything he wraps his arms around Calum’s waist, burying his face into Calum’s chest and inhaling his scent. “You stayed.”

Calum grins, wrapping his arms around Michael and rubs his back and whispers in his ear, “Of course, you asked me to.”

And that’s the kicker: Michael’s never really had someone that would hold him like this, stay here and listen to him. This guy, who he met after a fucking one night stand, is possibly the perfect boy.

He wants to say something romantic, maybe something witty that would bring that gorgeous smile to the surface, but he doesn’t do any of that.

He throws up all over Calum’s feet instead.

Calum gasps, practically screams like a child, and jumps back. Vomit covering him from the knees down and Michaels running past him to the bathroom, throwing up again.

“Fuck,” he mumbles and he doesn’t really know what to do. He’s stuck there standing in a pool of beer and what looks like Cheerios. He’s never eating Cheerios again.

Michael’s roommate peeks his head out of the other room, Calum assumes it’s his own, and he chuckles closing the door when he disappears again. Asshole. Calum takes a huge step back and covers his nose at the smell. This is by far worse than beer breath. He peels off his jeans and socks. Now he’s half naked in the middle of Michael’s apartment, while his roommate is laughing away in his room and Michael is spilling his guts into a toilet. He needs pants.

Calum slips around the mess and back to Michael’s room. Maybe it’s not really that polite to dig around someone’s drawers that he hardly knows, but he thinks this is probably an exception to the rule.

Calum finds a pair of sweats in Michael’s dresser and he pulls them on, but he stills feels gross. He decides that when he goes back to the mess and Michael’s still in the bathroom, he should clean it up himself.

It takes him a bit to find cleaning supplies, but he does and when he’s done cleaning, and successfully not puking himself, Michael exits the bathroom holding his stomach and his face pale. It’s 3am, and far too late for this.

Michael tries to apologize but Calum shushes him and leads him back to his room instead.

“You can leave if you want to. I’d understand if you did.” Michael mumbles into a pillow. Calum shakes his head and pats Michael's head as he sits next to the boy.

“I’m not going anywhere Michael. And not just because it’s 3am, but because I don’t want to.” He decides to clarify and Michael makes a content noise, nodding.

“Sorry about puking on you,” he says, face still buried in the pillow. “That wasn’t what I wanted to do”

He’s embarrassed, rightfully so. He’s actually never puked on someone before, been pretty good at keeping his stomach steady when drinking. All he can think now is,  _ beer before liquor, never sicker _ . Now he’s vomited all over this boy, a boy who he was so sure wanted to kiss him, and he’s pretty sure Calum wants to be nowhere near his mouth.

“That’s alright,” Calum assures him, fingers tracing through his hair once again. His fingers are soothing, calming and Michael almost purrs in content. “Though I definitely confirms something for me.”

Michael lifts his head from the pillow, green eyes looking up at Calum with curiosity. “And what’s that?”

Calum smiles softly, the corners of his mouth only quirking slightly as he whispers, “That even when you are puking all over me and smell like a drunk disaster, I still really want to kiss you.”

Oh.

Michael grins at him, blushing and burying his head further into his pillow. “Maybe tomorrow.” He promises, adjusting his position so his head is now resting on Calum’s lap. “Yeah, tomorrow.”

It doesn’t take Michael long to fall back asleep and as bad as Calum wants to sleep in bed with him, he doesn’t quite want to be thrown up on again. So he takes an extra pillow and finds a blanket in the living room and falls asleep on the couch, which is nowhere near as comfortable as Michael’s bed.

 

⃟⃟⃟

 

The next time he wakes up its light out and he has to squint against the sun that’s shining on his face through the window. He yawns and stretches, groaning at his sore neck. He searches for his phone when he sits up, but he realizes he left it in Michael’s room and he just hopes it’s not annoying him. Ashton’s probably freaking out wondering where he is.

He slips into Michael’s room, glad it doesn’t smell like puke. Michaels still sleeping, and he probably will be for a while so Calum doesn’t waste time in there, he grabs his phone and leaves again to sit back on the couch.

 

** Ashton 10:26pm: **

** Are you coming back tonight? **

 

** Ashton 11:13pm: **

** Guess not. **

 

** Ashton 11:43pm: **

** Luke won’t talk to me again. **

 

** Ashton 12:01am: **

** I don’t know what I did. He’s completely ignoring me. The least he could do is turn off his read receipts. **

 

** Ashton 12:05am: **

** It would be great if you could come home. Guess you’re too busy fucking Michael or something. **

 

** Ashton 1:36am: **

** You’re an ass. **

 

** Ashton 1:36am: **

** No you’re not. Sorry. **

 

** Ashton 2:34am: **

** Luke called me and all he could talk about was that stupid fucking guy again ** .

 

There were at least ten other messages that made Calum wince at the harshness towards Michael, but Ashton didn’t know that.

 

** Ashton 9:23am: **

** Plan on coming home today? **

 

** To: Ashton 10:12am: **

**** ** Not sure, sorry about Luke. **

 

Calum puts his phone down and slumps into the couch sighing and rubbing his face. Could Michael wake up already. He wants to avoid Michael's roommate and follow up on his promise from late last night.

When Michael wakes up again, he pouts at the fact that Calum isn’t with him. He would have loved to wake up to the sight of Calum sleeping, head leaning to the side with soft snores coming from his mouth. Michael grins at the thought that maybe, just maybe, that could become a reality really soon.

Running a hand through his hair, he gets up and walks towards his kitchen, hoping to get a glass of water to wash out the taste of puke. He nearly jumps a foot in the air when he sees Calum on his couch, texting.

“I thought you left!” He says, hand over his heart from the surprise.

Calum grins at him, eyes squinting from how big he is smiling. “Morning sleeping beauty, how are we feeling?” He gets up from his position on the couch, walking towards the kitchen and sitting on the counter. “I was going to make breakfast, but I have no idea what you even like.”

Michael grins, taking a large drink of water before walking to Calum. He stands in between his legs, hands resting on Calum’s hips and rubbing small circles into his sides with his thumb. “I like waffles, pancakes, cereal-”

Calum’s nose scrunches at the suggestions of cereal. “Not Cheerios, no. How about an omelette?” Calum offers, his hands reaching for Michael’s and intertwining their fingers. “Since you never got to taste that one at iHop.”

Michael smiles. “Sounds perfect.” He leans closer, his face only inches away from Calum’s when he whispers,”About what I said last night-”

A slam of a hand smacking against the counter makes them jump apart, Michael considering murder when he sees Jesse. “No sex in the kitchen,” he smirks.

Calum’s really starting to hate being scared like this. His heart is pounding in his chest and he shoots a glare to Michael’s roommate who just chuckles and moves around the pair. Calum doesn’t understand how Michael stands living with him, he’s been nothing but rude, and quite frankly, Calum's not having any of it.

Michael leaves his spot from in front of Calum, and he resists the urge to pout just watching the other boy get food for himself.

“Am I interrupting something?” The tattooed covered boy asks and before Calum can open his mouth Michael’s speaking.

“Yeah actually. I was about to tell Calum how I’m gonna murder my asshole roommate.”

Calum stares between the two, and he can’t tell if it’s banter or if it’s serious, it’s all confusing.

“Sorry to ruin your master plan, Clifford, but you don’t have the balls to kill me. Plus you love me too much.” He winks and Michael flips him off.

“Fuck you, Jesse,” Michael grumbles. So his name is Jesse, and Calum is still beyond lost.

“You wish,” Jesse chuckles and leaves the kitchen going to the living room to watch some show too loud to be normal. Calum notices a faint fond smile on Michael’s lips after Jesse leaves and it lets Calum know it was all jokes. Jesse’s still a dick.

“I know you think he’s a dick-” Michael starts.

“I am a dick, thank you!” Jesse calls from the couch and Michael laughs.

“But he’s an alright guy.” Michael finishes and Calum's surely convinced Michael can read his mind.

They make breakfast after that, and while Calum would love for Jesse to get lost so he and Michael could be alone, the tattooed boy seems to be terribly invested in bugging the hell out of them.

“So, Calum,” he says once breakfast has been made, all of them gathered in the living room. “You planning on staying here all day or are you gonna leave?”

Calum thinks about this for a bit. He should go home, make sure his best friend is okay, and not sobbing into his own breakfast over some stupid guy. Then again, he wants to stay with Michael, fulfill the promise from the night before.

If only Jesse would leave.

“If Michael wants me to stay, I’ll stay,” he says, taking Michael’s hand. He doesn’t miss the way the boy blushes and allows Calum to snuggle closer to him. “Though, I should call my roommate and make sure he’s okay.”

Michael nods. “Why don’t you do that now? I need to shower anyway.” And before he knows it, Michael is kissing his cheek and heading towards the bathroom, once again leaving him alone with Jesse.

Calum sighs to himself, because he’s sure he’s never going to kiss Michael, which is absolutely terrible. Another issue is that his phone is in front of Jesse who is still sitting on the couch, and he knows if he goes over there Jesse will probably harass him. Not up for it, but he needs to call Ashton. So he avoids eye contact with the boy on the couch as he grabs his phone, but it’s not that easy. Calum knew it wouldn’t be.

“What are you trying to get out of him?” Jesse asks as he grabs Calum wrist not, letting him walk away to make his call.

“Nothing. I’m not here to use him, Jesse. I stayed, didn’t I?” Calum bites back and yanks his arm away from Jesse’s grip. He doesn’t know what he did to get on Jesse’s bad side, but it’s pretty awful.

“Staying the night and cleaning up his puke means nothing. Especially not to me. I know Michael, you don’t.”

“I don’t care if it means anything to you, it meant something to Michael. That’s all I care about.” Calum stares at him, actually contemplating murder. “I’m trying to get to know Michael, and really I don’t know what crawled up your ass and died, but you need to get it checked out.”

Jesse looks taken aback at Calum’s comment and he feels pride rise in his chest. Good, fuck Jesse. He walks back to Michael’s room and unlocks his phone, pressing call on his best friend’s contact.

It rings and rings and no answer. Calum sighs and sets down his phone, he’s probably in the shower. His phone buzzes in his hand and he looks to find that Ashton is calling him back.

“Hey,” Calum starts but he’s cut off.

“Where the fuck are you?” Ashton snaps and Calum frowns.

“Michaels, you knew that. He needed me, and-” Ashton cuts him off again.

“ Yeah, well I needed you more.”  _ Click. _

Oh.

Calum sets his phone down and sits there, waiting for Michael to get out of the shower. Minutes pass that feel like hours and Calum’s juggling where his priorities lay in his head. Ashton has been his best friend for over five years now, and he’s known Michael for only a few days. He doesn’t want to leave Michael, but he doesn’t want to lose Ashton either.

So when Michael comes out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist and showing off his gorgeous hips, it actually pains Calum when he says, “I have to go.”

He watches Michael’s face fall at his words, and now he feels even worse. “If it’s because of Jesse-”

“No! No absolutely not,” Calum swallows, trying to chose his next words carefully so he doesn’t hurt Michael’s feelings, which is the last thing he wants. “It’s just, look I really want to stay, you know? I really really like you and I want to be here and hang out and get to know you but-”

He expects Michael to just wave him off, tell him it’s okay and he’s not mad. He least a expects it when Michael surges forward, pressing his lips to Calum’s with a hand cupping his face as he kisses Calum deeply, almost like a silent thank you for everything Calum had done for him. Calum is quick to wrap an arm around the boy and pull him closer, their lips moving more feverishly as Calum deepens the kiss.

It’s when they pull away that Michael says, “I just had to do that before you left.” He’s smiling, hand leaving Calum’s face before stepping back. “Promise you’ll come back?”

There’s nothing Calum wants more. “I promise.” He steps forward, kissing Michael once more before saying goodbye, promising to call before heading off towards his own apartment, hoping Ashton isn’t too furious

It’s a bit bittersweet to see Michael’s sad wave and a small goodbye when he leaves his apartment, and he hopes Jesse doesn’t give him any grief over anything that has happened in the last 24 hours. He doesn’t dwell too much on that thought because he remembers Ashton and he feels bad.

When he gets to his shared apartment and pushes the door open after he unlocks it, he didn’t know what he expected, but it definitely wasn’t what his eyes are seeing now. A bare sweaty back facing him, sitting on top of his best friend, rocking his hips against him on the couch. Yeah, not what he was expecting.

“WOAH! Fuck! Sorry, I- Fuck.” Calum stutters and covers his hands with his eyes trying to navigate his way blindly through the apartment, running into every possible god damned thing. He hears shuffling and rushed whispers and he knows it was Luke on Ashton, which in theory is good, he just didn’t want to see it per se.

Calum shuts himself in his room until Ashton calls out his name and he hesitantly emerges from his room, peeking around the corner to see that Luke is gone and Ashton’s dressed, but his hair's a mess. He doesn’t think too much about it.

“So, uh. Luke and you?” Calum starts rubbing the back of his neck. Ashton shakes his head curtly, and oh. One of those things. “Sorry.”

“For what, exactly?” Ashton bites at him and Calum slots his hands together in front of him and rests his elbows on his knees after sitting down in a chair next to the couch. “Luke just wanting a fuck, or ditching me?”

He deserved that.

Calum looks down at his feet and sighs.

“Ashton, I wasn’t. Michael needed me and. I’m sorry I can’t help you with Luke like I wish I could. I’m not superman, Ash. You of all people should know that.”

Ashton licks his lips before he speaks again.

“I’m not asking you to be superman, I’m asking you to be my best friend.”

Calum nods and apologizes again. Ashton just stands up and leaves Calum sitting in the chair by himself. Ashton was jealous and Calum knew that, but what he said was true.

 

⃟⃟⃟

 

“I feel bad.”

They are in Calum’s room, Ashton having stormed out saying he was going 'out’. He wasn’t answering his phone, and while Calum respected that Ashton needed his space, he still wanted to make it up to him somehow.

“Don’t be.” Calum says, playing with Michael’s fingers as they lie on his bed. “It’s my fault, I haven’t really been there for him lately. Mostly we just solve his issues with sex, but I haven’t exactly been providing that”

Michael shifts himself in Calum’s embrace, resting his chin on Calum’s chest and looking up at the boy. “I’d hope not,” he smiles sweetly, and that smile alone makes Calum feel a little better and the situation.

There’s still that lingering hurt though, and Michael can’t fix that.

“How about this,” Michael pulls himself up, pulling Calum into his lap so they are sitting close together, chests nearly touching. “I can talk to Luke, maybe convince him to give Ashton a chance?”

Calum hums. “While I’m not fond of the idea of you talking to Luke alone, I do want Ash to be happy.” He pecks Michael’s lips. “Why not? What’s the worst that can happen?”

Michael laughs, kissing Calum properly and pushing him backwards into the bed. He can worry about that later. Right now he just wants to kiss his boy.

 

⃟⃟⃟

 

Michael stands outside of Luke’s apartment building, thinking it’s a bit weird he knew how to get there, cause he remembered through his drunken stupor the one thing he remembers is Luke’s damn address. He practically rolls his eyes at himself.

He knocks at Luke’s door and waits. And waits. Just as he’s about to bail, the door opens and there’s Luke, being annoyingly broad and tall.

“Michael?” He asks and Michael takes in a deep breath. He doesn’t know why he volunteered himself for the job. Oh right, to make Calum feel better. When he thinks about it that way it’s not so bad.

“Yeah, uh, hey Luke. Can we talk?” Michael shoves his hands into his pockets and Luke nods stepping out of the way to let him in. Michael does so, and feels weird about being here and not being drunk.

“I’m surprised you remember my address, I didn’t even think you’d remember my name.” Luke tries to make small talk, Michael’s not having any of it.

“I only know your name cause Calum told me what it was.” He deadpans and Luke looks down at the floor twisting his feet. Michael almost feels bad.

“Well, have a seat,” Luke manages between playing with his lip ring and clearing his throat. Michael shakes his head. There was no way he was going to let himself be comfortable enough to sit in Luke’s apartment and tell this kid to stop fawning over him.

“This is gonna be quick,” Michael starts and Luke looks up at him, like a dog hearing the word treat. His eyes are literally sparkling and Michael knows he’s got the wrong idea. “Wait Luke. I didn’t-”

Luke cuts him off by practically jumping on him and forcing their lips together. Michael tries shoving him away, but the lanky boy is a lot stronger than he thought. In his struggle against Luke he hears another familiar voice and he almost dies right on the spot.

“Luke, I’m back,” Ashtons voice falters at the ends of the sentence as his eyes lay on Michael and Luke in front of him, Michael knows what Ashton’s thinking already, but before he can form a coherent though, Luke is hopping away from Michael and running to Ashton, wrapping his arms around him.

“He like attached himself to me!” The blond haired boy practically whimpers and Michael holds up his hands.

“Ashton no. Fuck no. That’s not what happened, I swear to God. I came here to help and, fuck please.” Michael feels like crying. He can practically hear his voice breaking.

“You’ve been causing a lot of shit in my life it seems like,” Ashton spits, holding Luke close to his side. “First you take my best friend away from me, making him believe you actually love him and turned him into some little helpless puppy. Now here you are, trying to take away another thing that makes me happy.”

Michael swears there are tears running down his cheeks, and he doesn’t bother with keeping them in. This isn’t happening, this really wasn’t supposed to happen. “Ashton, I swear to God that I didn’t kiss Luke, I would never-”

“Get out,” Ashton hisses, and Michael swears he sees an actual look of regret in Luke’s eyes. It passes too quickly to interpret. “If I even see you near Calum, or Luke for that matter, I won’t be afraid to kick your ass.”

Michael nods, but before he leaves he stops in the doorway, wiping his tears. “I care about Calum, a lot more than I should for knowing him only a few days. There’s no way in hell I’d hurt him.” He turns to Luke. “I suggest you stop fucking around with Ashton here and tell him the truth. Calum says you are a pretty cool guy, but all I see is a fucking dick.”

He storms out of the apartment before any of them can retaliate, heading back to Calum. He just hopes Calum will believe him when he says what happened.

 

⃟⃟⃟

 

Calum’s phone is broken. It’s been broken for fifteen minutes at the least. To say that it’s broken is also an understatement. It’s shattered, pieces everywhere. Unusable, unlike himself apparently. Ashton called him and told him everything, because that’s what best friends do. After he got off the phone with Ashton, messages piled up on his phone, making it buzz nonstop and they were all from Michael, so he threw his phone down on the hard floor, picking it up and doing it again until he was sure he couldn’t use it anymore. Maybe drunk people didn’t tell the truth after all.

_ Knock, Knock. _

Calum stares at the door for the longest time before Michael says his name.

“Calum. Calum, please open up, I know you’re in there. Please let me talk to you.” Michaels voice pleads from out in the hallway. Calum is broken just like his phone. He unlocks the door and sits on the couch staring straight ahead with his puffy, bloodshot eyes. He hears the door open, then close. He hears Michael step forward and then stop.

“Calum,” he whispers, sounding broken, too. He doesn’t deserve to be broken.

“Shut the fuck up, Michael,” Calum snaps and stands up, facing the other boy, he wipes his face with the back of his hand as Michael watches him with careful eyes, tears brimming at the corners. “You don’t get to be broken! You don’t get to cry. You fucked up, not me.” Calum gets quiet at the end of his sentence.

“I didn’t- it wasn’t me! I swear I wouldn’t do that to you. Luke lied, Calum. He lied, and Ashton is so blindly in love with him that he believed him!” Michael chokes out and he feels so pathetic, so desperate for Calum to believe him. Calum shakes his head.

Calum shakes his head. “Luke wouldn’t lie. You just wanted to fuck him again. You’re the one who lied. You- you said you didn’t want anymore casual fucks but that’s why you wanted to go tell Luke to stop. So you could fuck him and you got caught.” Calum is crying heavily now, and he’s saying everything that he’s thinking though he promised himself he wouldn’t. He wants Michael to hold him and tell him it’s okay and comfort him, like he did when Michael was drunk. Yet now, it’s not going to happen.

“You were right. All you do is fuck things up.” Calum stays quiet and watches Michael crumble.

Michael swallows thickly, his throat burning from holding back the tears. He trusted Calum, and now he’s having all that trust thrown back into his face. It hurts, it hurts so much worse than he thought it would. He knew better than be back in this position again, allowing another person to  _ do  _ this to him again. Maybe he didn’t.

“Yeah I do,” Michael admits, fists clenched by his sides. “I fuck up everything. I fucked up my first relationship with a guy because I couldn’t admit to myself that I loved him. I fucked up my grades in Uni because I didn’t care enough to try. I fucked up my relationship with you by trusting you. I’m a fuck up, a gigantic fuck up.” He holds back the loud sob growing in this chest. “I’m leaving. Delete my number, forget my address.” He slams the apartment door shut after that, angrily heading towards his apartment, where Jesse is waiting for him. Jesse’s always waiting for him.

“Hey did you fix-” he stops when he sees Michael’s tears, getting up from the couch. “Are you okay?”

Michael shakes his head, tears still in his eyes as he heads for the fridge and ripping it open, grabbing the bottle of vodka. “No, but I’m going to do what I do best.”

Jesse raises an eyebrow. “Get drunk?”

Michael nods, tipping the bottle back as he presses the cool glass against his lips, and chugs, ignoring the burn. “Exactly.”

Jesse leaves Michael, because he never knows how to deal with these kinds of things and Michael’s grateful for that. He grips the neck of the bottle of vodka, thankful that Jesse restocked since the last time he binge drank. Two days ago? This must be a record. He intends on setting records. A record for getting alcohol poisoning, the fastest in the world, and hopefully dying.

He wish he could remember saying those things to Calum about being amazing at fucking up, but he can’t. He hates himself for it. He hates himself for it so he chugs more vodka down. The burn is relief compared to the sting of Calum’s quiet words.

_ "All you do is fuck things up.” _

Calum’s words ring in his ears and it’s worse because he can hear his voice loud and clear. It’s all too real. He chugs more.

Michael doesn’t know when he started crying so hard, but now he’s doubled over on himself sobbing into an almost empty bottle of vodka. Everything is shit. He shouldn’t be this fucked over a person he barely knows, he shouldn’t have feelings. Should’ve never offered to get coffee with Calum. Should’ve ignored him when he saw the boy leaving that building. Michael wasn’t shameful to have fucked someone and left them the next morning. Michael didn’t care about feelings.

He decides to shut himself off again, Jesse included. Michael vows to  never make this mistake a third time. He knows now that it’s a fucking joke, that he’s a fucking joke. He looks at the empty bottle in his hand and throws it at the cement wall. It shatters, unfixable. Just like himself.

He sways and grabs another bottle of vodka from the fridge and contemplates smashing that one as well when he can’t get the top off. He collapses to his knees, sobbing and shaking, his hand still twisting at the top. Finally it comes off and Michael spills on himself. He doesn’t care, he just drinks.

Jesse comes out once, but Michael screams at him to leave him alone. So Jesse does. Another bottle broken against the the wall. All he has is beer now, and so he drinks, wants to die.

 

⃟⃟⃟

 

Calum wants to know why his phone is ringing at this time at night, and who on Earth could possibly be calling him. Everyone he knows should be asleep. He reaches blindly for the phone, hoping to shut it off, doesn’t even bother with checking to see who it is before answering it.

“Is this Calum Hood?”

He freezes. He doesn’t recognize this voice. They sound professional, and Calum knows that there wasn’t any reason a professional should be calling him this late in the night. He’s terrified now. “Yeah?”

“This is Sydney Medical, your friend Michael Clifford was admitted here an hour ago with alcohol poisoning. We can’t seem to get a hold of any family-”

Calum feels like his heart has stopped when the words ‘Michael’ and ‘Medical’ are used in the same sentence. He knew Michael had a pretty bad drinking problem, but he wouldn’t drink himself to death.

Would he?

“I’ll be there soon,” he says, not so sure the person on the other line heard him. He knows he’s supposed to be furious with Michael, but he can’t bring himself to hate him now with how worried he is. The boy he loves is in the hospital, he needs to go.

Scrambling off of the bed, he quickly rummages through his drawers to find a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, sliding them on in a haste. He must have been pretty loud, because Ashton is up and in his room, rubbing his eyes. “What the fuck are you doing it's two in the morning.” He sounds sleepy, annoyed.

Calum sniffles, wetness on his cheeks and fuck, when did he start crying? “Michael is in the hospital,” he chokes out, and he watches Ashton’s face change from annoyed to concerned.

“Holy shit is he okay?” He’s stepped closer, hand on Calum’s arm in an effort to comfort him.

Calum squeezes his eyes shut. “I-I don’t know. Fuck, I don’t.” He lets out a sob, and before he knows it Ashton is holding him, trying to quiet his tears.

“I’ll drive,” Ashton says, kissing Calum’s forehead. “Just let me get some clothes on, okay?” He cups Calum’s face in his hands, thumbs wiping at the tears still coming down his cheeks. “It’s going to be okay, Michael is going to be okay.”

Calum wishes he could believe him.

 

⃟⃟⃟

 

Michael doesn’t remember anything. He doesn’t remember Jesse coming out to the kitchen and seeing him laying in the floor, vomit next to his head. He doesn’t remember Jesse screaming at him to wake up or dialing calling an ambulance. He doesn’t remember the paramedics showing up and putting him into an ambulance, or the drive to the hospital. He doesn’t remember Jesse holding his hand and crying telling him not to die. Telling him he can’t lose his best friend. He doesn’t remember. Michael wasn’t conscious, he doesn’t remember.

He hears things, though. Just faint things. Someone talking, saying they can’t get ahold of his family. He doesn’t have family. Jesse telling them to call Calum. He doesn’t have Calum. He blacks out again when he feels Jesse’s hand on his again.

He hears people yelling, but it sounds distant. He wants them to stop yelling but he can’t talk, can’t seem to move. Too many tubes and blankets.

“What the fuck did you do to him, Calum!” Jesse shouts, and Calum reels back, scared again.

“I didn’t do anything.” Calum's voice is small. “It wasn’t me.”

“I knew you were going to destroy him, but I didn’t think it was going to be this fast. Not after a fucking week.” Calum watches Jesse pace. It’s not Calum's fault, but for some reason his gut is telling him that it is.

“ After-” Jesse starts.  _ Deep breath _ . “After Zack, I didn’t think. I didn’t think Michael would ever be okay again. That kid, he wasn’t good for Michael, and Michael was scared. Fuck he was so scared. Don’t think he could love him right he was so scared, I guess. Zack was worse though, treated Michael like nothing, Michael was so fucking gone for that kid.” Jesse rubs his face and shakes his head, Calum knows it’s not his turn to talk. “Made Michael feel like he was worth nothing, so he shut himself away. I haven’t seen him that happy in years. He was happy. You made him happy. He’d never do anything to hurt you. He knows- he knows what it’s like to be hurt to the point of numbness. And I don’t know what the fuck you said to him. What the fuck you did. But that kid,” Jesse points to Michael and Calum looks, tears in his eyes so Michael’s a bit blurry. “He’s too fucking special to be in a hospital bed right now. He deserves better.”

Jesse leaves Calum then, and Calum is shaking. He needs to sit down, he needs to breath again. So, he heads towards the waiting room, where he’s surprised to find Luke there, holding Ashton’s hand. He didn’t expect Luke to show up, especially after the incident with Michael.

When Calum approaches them, Luke shoots up from his seat, looking apologetic. “Is he okay?” The blond looks concerned, wringing his hands together as he awaits Calum’s answer.

Calum shrugs, willing himself not to cry again. “He hasn’t woken up yet, and doctors are saying he drank so much vodka he could have  _ died _ of Jesse hadn’t found him.” He chokes on a sob, biting his lip. “This is my fault.”

Luke swallows, tears starting to form in his eyes as he speaks. “No it’s not, Calum you didn’t drive him to do that,” There’s a pause before Luke says, “It’s my fault.”

Calum sniffles, confused.”'How?”

Luke looks at Ashton, sorrow in his eyes before looking back at Calum. “I-I kissed him. He didn’t kiss me, I was all me.” Now there are tears coming from Luke’s eyes, making his eyes even more blue than they were before. “All because I’m an idiot who wanted to have someone to love me. I-I thought Michael would be that someone. I got clingy, and it hurt that Michael didn’t want me back. I hoped hooking up with Ashton would help me forget, but it didn’t. All it did was make me feel even worse.” He wipes at his eyes furiously, shaking his head. “Fuck, I’m such an dick, Michael said it himself.”

Calum lets the information sink in, let's it hit him in the gut before he shakily responds, “Ashton really loves you. I’ve never seen a kid so head over heels for someone like he is for you.” He gets up from his chair, staring down at Luke. “I’m not mad at you. I should be mad at you, but I’m not, probably because I get where you are coming from. All I ask is please don’t break my best friend just because you got your heart broken.”

Luke nods, looking over at Ashton with a smile on his face. There’s a certain fondness in his glance, a sparkle in his eye as he says, “I won’t.”

Calum doesn’t bother to wait and see what happens between Luke and Ashton and he hopes his best friend understands. He walks back to Michael's room, and he wants him to be awake, but he knows he won’t be. He’s let down when he opens the door and Michael's eyes are still closed and his hands are unmoving, something Calum had picked up in the week he’d spent with this boy. He was always moving, his hands always doing something, even in his sleep. But this wasn’t sleep.

Calum sits down on the chair next to Michaels bed and watches him, for anything. Nothing. He grabs Michael’s hand anyways, careful to avoid the needle in the top of his hand. He squeezed once, not expecting anything in return.

“I’m sorry I said you ruin everything. You didn’t ruin anything. I should’ve believed you.” Calum whispers and kisses the back of Michael’s hand.

“He can hear you, I’m not sure he’ll remember though. Some of them don’t.” A voice says from the side of Calum and he jumps. A nurse walks over to Michael’s bed and checks the monitors, flashing Calum an apologetic smile. He didn’t hear him come in. Calum watches the guy scribble things into a clipboard.

“He can?” Is all Calum can seem to say and the man nods before leaving the room. It’s enough to make Calum cry.

“Michael,” he starts, trying to keep the tears at bay so he doesn’t stumble over his words. “You’re not a fuck up. I can’t believe I even said that to you when in reality, you make everything better. That morning we met? When you were escaping Luke’s apartment and I was leaving mine, you made my life better than very moment. Coffee with you was amazing, and the first time you held my hand I was amazed that someone as wonderful as you chose me. And then you kissed me for the first time and I knew right then that you were it.” He lets out another sob, kissing Michael’s hand gently. “We’ve known each other for a week, and I can confidently say that I am in love with you. And I swear to god from now on I will protect you and make sure you never feel like a fuck up.”

“Promise?”

It’s a raspy voice, but it’s enough to make Calum cry even harder. Michael is staring at him, magnificent green eyes looking at him with so more adoration. Even cloudy they are still taking Calum’s breath right out of his lungs.

“Yeah,” Calum says. “I promise.”

Michael smiles weakly and sighs out an okay and squeezes Calum’s hand back lightly.

“M'sorry,” Michael rasps and Calum kisses his hand again.

“Never do this again,” Calum whispers and Michael shakes his head.

“Never,” Michael says softly and he wants to reach up and wipe Calum’s tears away, but he’s trapped. He doesn’t know what happened, but what he does is that Calum's next to him and that’s more than he could ask for. “Didn’t delete my number did you?”

“I’m not an idiot,” Calum chuckles softly. And Michael’s heart hurts in the best way.

“You’re not at all.”

Michael only had to stay in the hospital for a day and a half, luckily for him. He wanted to get back home to his bed and hold Calum in his arms and kiss him unapologetically, whenever he wanted to. And so he did all of those things and then did them again for good measure.

It was weird at first, with Michael being around more at the apartment. Ashton trusted him now, knowing that what had really happened, but there was still that awkward tension in the air whenever Calum brought up something he and Ashton did during their 'friends with benefits’ stage.

Luke managed to fit himself in with them easily enough, and while it was awkward between him and Michael for a bit, they eventually moved past it. Calum loved seeing how Luke made his best friend smile, almost the exact same way Michael made him smile.

And to think, it all started because of the walk of shame

 

**Author's Note:**

> Both Emi and I hope you enjoyed reading this! We had a ton of fun writing it and this is my first collab I've ever done and I'd like to think it was pretty successful. 
> 
> If you have any questions you can message me [here](http://michaelclifford.tumblr.com/) and/or Emi [here](http://lucasashtons.tumblr.com/)!! Have an amazing day :-)


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